Well I wrote this post on mixi, expecting not many ppl wud see whats this bout. But I got to know many of them reacted to this post so I decided to move this post to this Uka's daily this and that-my more personal blog!

.｡o○☆*ﾟ¨ﾟﾟ･*:..｡o○☆*ﾟ¨ﾟﾟ･*:..｡o○☆*ﾟ¨ﾟ･*:.
manic-depressive?me?

Hey guys This is a quite personal, private post which Im writing to push my stressES out. Sooo... pl ignore this post.

Recently I got too many things on my mind and am a bit overwhelmed:((
I could think of some reasons of it.... I always keep my worries, discomfort and anger in my mind, rarely let it out on my surface, and can keep cheerful. SO, one silly thing---ONLY one silly thing can causea huge foggy feeling of low spreading all ova my heart n head, just like the one Im having now. This condition can be my chronic illness----is this manic-depressive? hmmm guess no. Its not that serious. 'posi-nega-tive-ness' sounds more suitable.
So. one of the reasons why im overwhelmed n feelin down is becuz of my posi-nega-tive-ness.

and THAT issue also.

*HE* and I are not in a good relationship. but lately -he- asked me out again n we sometimes talk on e phone. Talking to -him- is fun, but I used to feel sorry for -him- cz I couldn give -him- back what -he- could gives to me.... I always think of *HIM* and look back to my happiest time being with *HIM*:(( -he- doesn say ath like bf-gf stuffs, but I still dun no how to get along with this relation cz once -he- said -he- wanted to know if -he- cud be my bf. i didn say yes, cz *HE* is my most beloved guy eva. still, *HE*s the one fo me. then how come i didn say no to go out with -him-? -he- is my fren, not bf. neva.. afta that -he- said -he- wud forget me.wun ask me to be -his- gf. so i thought -he- became my fren. my policy is: never go out with a guy while Im in love with someone (exception: when the guy n i dun have any fren in common) we... -he- and i have some frens in common, but how come -he- asked me to go out fo din alone? shd i think bout it deeper? or shdn i? arrghh how stupid i am:(( m so confused uh..... Maybe I shdn take it too seriously. Dun think deeply. Just go. Enjoy. Thats it. ......really? am i sure it is? A few days ago I sent *HIM* a xmas card. funny but I still do this sort of things to *HIM*.

newys neva mind dearie, Im okay.
Well i spat it out now so gng sleep. ta-ta!


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2006年12月11日03:21
しのびー
Girl, you can alwayz talk to me. Life's confusing, but friends are here to help. Sleep tight.
2006年12月11日20:26
て-さん
英語でさっぱりわからん！？！
2006年12月12日01:15
yoko
Toriiiiiii.....reading your post, I thought bout our day's in Aus. I remember you were worried bout many things in those days as well (the situations are not same, though). Actually, I also have some worries bout my bf and cannot clear my mind. But, one thing I want to tell you here is; when your head is overburdened, empty your mind of worries and relax. It's important. I know you are so sweet and very thoughtful person. But, plz try to forget everything which annoys you. Do nothing when you don't feel like doing anything. Open your mouth, look up at the sky and hum a song. A! how about having a foot massage? We should try it again. We'll see each other very soon, right? Let me give you a hug when I find you next time. とりたんの悩みがすこしでもどっか行ってくれますように！！！


.｡o○☆*ﾟ¨ﾟﾟ･*:..｡o○☆*ﾟ¨ﾟﾟ･*:..｡o○☆*ﾟ¨ﾟ･*:.

I wanted to keep this more private, but I didn wanna delete this post cz some of them left really thoughtful comment on it. So I think its a better decision to have this post here. . Sorry this post is too complicated... I was so confused n stressed out when I wrote this. Neway Im okay now. I can write better English now(hopefully!)



Well Xmas is coming..... its always fun to have this exciting feeling of this season, but this year I have work on 25th! hahah..... (not funny at all!!!!! eeeeEEEEE!!!!;(( )


that all for tnite!:)

Wishing you a veryyy merryyyy Xmas!!